Where do I begin?

I have been putting my own personal entries off now for too long. Sharing the personal aspect of my journey has never been something I am familiar with I guess you could say. Much of what I have learned, been taught, and studied over all my years was something I was sternly directed to keep secret. The old school system of esoteric knowledge and teachings are very much still in the shadows, much of it for very good reason. But times change and I am 34 years in the practice now. It’s time to open up a chapter here and there, I guess I hope that in sharing my experience others will resonate and take whatever ‘The ALL’ has them take or give from it. I just know it is now time for that direction in my evolution.

I started my journey into mysticism, the esoteric, and theology/philosophy, ect… back when I was nine. All too many times I have been asked how one gets started on something like this at nine. There are a few reasons; my family was very religious, the doctrine was pushed on me since as far back as I can even remember. My father was veritably adamant that I practice meditation, again, as far back as I can remember. As for my own interest, I remember wanting to grow up and be a wizard! I know that sounds tacky, but I was just a child and I think I was more attracted to the wonder of it all as opposed to the fantasy. Magic at the time seemed like something mysterious, fascinating, and I was absolutely in love with the idea. But I was told it was nothing more than pure fantasy…Until one day, while staying over my Aunts house, (who happened to be an ex-nun) she gave me a Christian comic book about the evils of witchcraft titled “SpellBound”!  Needless to say, and ironically I might add I was spellbound at the idea that witchcraft was real! So when I got home I jumped on my BMX bike, rode to the mall bookstore and bought my first book on “The Occult”. A book more specifically about psychic training called The Miracle of Universal Psychic Power: How to Pyramid Your Way to Prosperity published in 1974. Not exactly what one would think is a “legit” book. But again, I was nine and to be honest some of the techniques in there were quite sound and powerful.

So off I was on my journey to discovering what was sort of already familiar, the world unseen. I should acknowledge that when I was very young I was tormented by “energies”. I hesitate to say “spirits” as it really was more than that. I felt, saw, and directly experienced energy entities that were intelligent and non-sentient, more consequential really, but that’s not something I will get into right now. More to the point I began my life’s journey, purpose and/or rather a continuance of my spirit’s evolution and remembrance.

Most significant was when I turned 12, and only those with open minds need to continue on from here. I was playing out in the fields with friends when I ran into an opening. These fields were a combination of woods and large field grass tall enough for a boy of my age to barely be able to see past. This opening was what looked like a perfectly mowed circle of about 6 feet in diameter. Lying directly in the center of this flattened circle was a large staff. It was about 5’ feet long, but more compelling was the look of it. It was straight with a perfect but yet completely natural crook at the top. I of course thought this was the coolest thing I ever saw grabbed it and ran immediately home. I later found out that within this staff there lived an entity; this entity over most all my teenage years taught me a great deal about many, many things. It was most significant as it really was a much deeper initiation into the main body of my practice today.

But I’ve always been very logic minded, and in school aptitude test I scored in the 90 percentile for the sciences. I even officially studied physics, psychology, and biology at the college level. For me this thing called “Magic” wasn’t magic at all. There was a logical explanation for why and how it worked, and it most definitely worked! This is something I think I will discuss in detail over time as it really is a very broad subject. Just know that yes, it involves energy, consciousness, intelligence (object not subject, but that is by far more complex in meaning) and very real, very solid laws. So for now I will say that I never followed something without a strong sense of objectivity, things have to fall within good reason and logic, not “just because doctrine says so”. But I walk the true middle path; all things are possible until proven otherwise.



By Matthew

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