What really is the difference between a negative thought and a negative perception?
If someone says something to you and you get upset that they are being negative, are they really? What makes you think that this person is the one being negative, regardless of what they may say or do?
To begin, unless you have the power to read minds, you have literally no idea whether or not the thought or intention of another is negative or positive. More importantly, whether they are or are not, or even if it is their intention or not, how should that effect what you perceive?
Consciously or subconsciously, whichever way it is driven, our perception is a chosen experience. How we see and hear the world is either a result of conditioning, experience, or environment. Some being obviously more tangible (which even this category can be debated) than others. But in the realm of directed intention or thought it is absolute and purely chosen, again, either consciously or subconsciously.
Simply stated, it really comes down to how we choose to react to something being said or enacted upon. Many times I am faced with people in relationships (myself included) where one of the two accuses another of being negative.
“Why do you have to be so negative” or “why are you being so critical”
If you have been in a relationship long enough (and it’s not by any means exclusive to a love relationship) you would have heard or even said this statement before. I challenge you to reconsider the circumstance. Let’s say for example you have a partner that is somewhat of a perfectionist or controller. A personality type we have all run into sooner or later, typically the “A” type personality. This is an individual that may see you doing something and want to “correct” you. Or even from an opposing angle, maybe you are the controlling personality and your partner walks into the room, sees you doing a task and suggest that you do it another way. In both instances it’s all too common for the target of the directed spoken comment to become immediately defensive, and maybe shoot back the exact comment aforementioned, or “why do you have to criticize everything I do, if you think you can do it better than fine…You do it!”
The range of these kinds of scenarios can literally spread over vast illustrations. Maybe someone is commenting on how different you are, the way you’re dressed, or even the way you speak. How does someone look at you when you take an action? Perhaps a complete stranger, someone you may think is not all too pleased with what you just said or how you acted based on how they are looking at you…or the look they are giving you. Or maybe it’s just straight out clear stated aggression in the form of name calling, someone is obviously heated in a heated situation, they look you dead in the eye and call you <bleep>!
Stop! Take a moment…Pause….Freeze time in your mind and look inwards…
Does any of it really matter? Are you really prepared to hand over your power to this other person no matter who they are? The fact is if you allow any one person, regardless of who they are, to entice a reaction out of you based on their input (i.e. “to push a button”) you have literally become their puppet.
Think long and hard, but not really, as it’s simply quite elementary. If one person enacts or speaks in such a way as to garner a reaction, you have become a victim to their whim. Whereas should you always be in awareness, separated from the expected behavior. What comes next out of you is not only and always a choice, but one that empowers you rather than steals it or gives it away.
Person A: Not only is what you are wearing ugly as sin, it even makes you look fat.
Person B: <Smiles> Oh my God, that is so sweet of you to say, thank you!
Ok, so maybe that is a bit extreme. But is it really? Your mind can put a literal spin on anything and if you really try (or maybe you can do it naturally) you could put a positive spin on person’s A statement to where in your mind it’s actually a compliment.
This is not about trying to teach yourself how to play mental and emotional gymnastics in social situations. Rather to get you to be aware of the power to choose. To know that you are holding onto your power of choice on more than just a reaction, more importantly what you are literally doing to yourself. Almost all forms of diseases have genetic triggers, and all triggers have a catalyst, typically and most prominently stress. Stress is the fertilizer for all forms of dis-ease, mental, emotional and fully physical.
Remember the choice; remember that all of life is 99.99% perception, quite literally. It’s a simple waking and walking meditation. Go inside yourself and think of what makes you feel good. Recall the ‘body memory” and invoke that feeling. Live in a way that promotes peace and healthy living through healthy thoughts.